An Incomplete Road Guide For 10 US States

I took an impromptu road trip with one of my best friends in the summer of 2015. On a whim, we drove from Toronto to California, hitting a lot of stops in between. With a low budget, two tents and a few weeks off from our respective jobs, we left.

We had no plans other than getting to California eventually, which gave my wife anxiety. Fortunately for Alex and myself, she wasn’t coming.

A few thoughts on each of the states going west:

Pure Michigan

Skipping Detroit, round out to Flint and bypass the traffic. The American dream took a nightmarish turn in this town. “Roll ‘em up” is heard multiple times on this trip in homage to Clark Griswold and car windows. Flint will be the first place it’s uttered.

Michigan is a great place to sharpen hand-eye coordination skills, dodging potholes at 120 kilometres an hour. Their highways and roads resemble the cratered surface of the Moon’s backside.

Be Sure To: Check out the bulletproof glass that separates you from the guy at the gas station

Last Minute Tip: If you’re thirsty, don’t stop in Flint

Inside Scoop: Charlotte, Michigan is not pronounced the way you’d expect. They pronounce it ‘SHAR-LOT’. I found out the hard way

Honest-To-Goodness Indiana

Arriving in Indiana, the literature immediately changes. Billboards abandon the personal injury lawyer motif seen in Michigan and adopt the oppressive Jesus theme that dominates the Midwest.

Cup sizes are noticeably larger when compared to Canadian counterparts. Additionally, I notice around this time that no one in the US drinks, or sells hot tea. I’m forced to adapt by drinking coffee instead, it starts to catch up with me by Indianapolis. I spend the next several hours in a Starbucks bathroom paying dearly for my coffee intake.

Be Sure To: Hit the Grand Traverse Pie Company in Terre Haute. You’ll hate yourself after

Last Minute Tip: Keep your eyes peeled when you’re on the I-70 leaving Indianapolis. Lucas Oil Stadium, home of The Indianapolis Colts, is a sight to see. Unfortunately for the state of Indiana it might be the only sight to see

Missouri, Where The River Runs

For the most part, the state holds on to its rural, Midwest charm. Blowing, vast crops and rustic farmhouses cover the open landscapes the surround the festering metropolises of St. Louis and Kansas City.

A striking feature of St. Louis: it’s divided down the middle by the Mississippi River. You get a strange, intangible feeling like a checkpoint has been breached when you cross one of the bridges that span it. Not only because it symbolically and historically separates east from west, but because the river is absolutely huge.

At the time, Ferguson, MO was at the centre of the civil rights movement. The city was protesting the murder of 18 year old Michael Brown, who died at the hands of a police officer. Demonstrations took place nightly, curfews were in place and citizens were in open conflict with the municipal and state police. We passed through, very quickly (Roll ‘em up).

Be Sure To: Not get your hopes up for the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. Upon closer inspection, it’s pretty unimaginative. I found myself thinking about better uses for all that steel which is not the point of a monument

Secret Of The Pros: West of St. Louis is a small town called Lake St. Louis. Bandana’s, a barbeque restaurant located off the highway, is worth stopping for. Big portions of delicious, authentic southern barbeque. Ask for Taylor as your server. She’s hilarious and loves to make fun of Canadians

Kansas, As Big As You Think

I’m guessing when they picked that motto, the runner-up was ‘Kansas, As Boring As You Thought’.

Kansas City is strange because it’s in both Kansas and Missouri, straddling the state line. In fact, Kansas City’s most popular and more urban areas rest on the Missouri side but because the state of Kansas itself is so boring, I’m putting it here.

After arriving late into KC and finding a respectable hotel, we didn’t see much. We did however wake up early to a panicked staff in the lobby, running around with terrified looks. When asked what the commotion was, we were informed of the ravenous tornadoes that were ripping around the building all night and morning. We were unaware but well rested.

Inside Scoop: Don’t inquire into the Quality Inn Suites off I-70 near KC. People are apparently “always murdered there”

Secret Of The Pros: Don’t stop driving until Colorado

Colorado, The Centennial State

Don’t expect mountains when you arrive from the east. In reality, the entire eastern half of Colorado looks like Kansas. So yes, Kansas’s state motto rings even truer.

Not sure how this happened but every inch of Colorado’s eastern highways are lined with wild, bright yellow sunflowers.

Denver is nice but Boulder is special. Situated at the foot of the Rockies, Boulder is about as beautiful as it gets. Every car seems to be adorned with a kayak, everyone looks like they’re about to, or just got back from a hike and almost every dog wears a cool bandana like in the movies.

Additionally, Marijuana is legal and if that’s your thing, Boulder is kind of a wonderland. (Cough) Not that I participated in such activities…

Be Sure To: Visit Nederland

Secret Of The Pros: Pitch a tent at Ami’s Acres in Western Colorado for authentic highway camping

Shout Out To: Dirty Mike, who played buckets like drums on Pearl Street in Boulder and sold us some Blue Dream Bud. It should be noted that he introduced himself as Mike and was only later given the moniker ‘Dirty’ by Alex and I.

Utah, Life Elevated

If you’ve wondered what a corner store/bowling alley would look like if it were also equal parts gas station, grocery store and A&W burger joint, Blanding Utah might be your spot. It was not lost on Alex and myself that you couldn’t spell Blanding without ‘Bland’, the town itself seemed to be begging for desertion in the 21st century.

The people of Utah are sweet, ingrained with Mormon values. In fact the only real salt to be found in the entire state is at the Bonneville Flats. No sight of Matthew McConaughey to report.

Lake Powell is otherworldly, too beautiful to miss if you’re close by. Alex and I pitched our tents on the sandy shores of this oasis and passed the night talking about the world with Swiss hippies that camped near us. Canadians and Swiss, uniting in their contempt for American cheese.

Secret Of The Pros: Drink lots of water

Arizona, The Grand Canyon State

It’s true, the Grand Canyon is here and it’s worth seeing. The park is full of tourists from all over the planet, quietly reflecting on what sits in front of them; an impossibly large gash in the earth’s mantle. It makes you feel infinitely small. I walk to the ledge, carefully stepping around the silent contemplators and yell “BORING” into the abyss.

Monument Valley and the Navajo Nation dominate the northern border of Arizona. Famous landscapes made infamous by over a century of film and art. One minute I feel like Kubrick, scanning the horizon for the best backdrop, the next I feel like Forest Gump running down that iconic desert highway missing his Jenny.

Be Sure To: Visit Kayenta and Page for authentic Navajo culture and tacos

Secret Of The Pros: Go to the Canyon’s North Rim. It’s less touristy, more rugged

Nevada, The Silver Star State

Las Vegas sits at the geographic bottom of this wasteland; a beacon against the meagre void that is the collective state of Nevada. Its millions of lights and thousands of fountains run against all logic but when pints are fifty cents, you tend not to notice. I won’t go into much detail here for two reasons:

1.     You’ve been there/heard it too many times to care

2.     The details are fuzzy anyway

We had the real honour of visiting Reno as we passed east through the Sierra Nevada Mountains, arriving late on a Friday evening. Sitting in a Starbucks stealing Wi-Fi, we were about to book the last available room under $200 and decided to ask two nearby police officers what they thought about our perspective hotel choice. Their answer is as follows:

“If y’all can hack another six hours of driving, I’d keep on moving”

We kept moving. Unfortunately, right to Elko.

Secret Of The Pros: People are getting weird in the desert at Burning Man

Inside Scoop: Nuclear testing sites dot the Nevada landscape

Last Minute Tip: Steer clear of Elko. It’s what society would look like 50 years after the bombs dropped

California, Find Yourself

There’s nothing anticlimactic about leaving this place as your final destination before turning back. One of my favourite places on Earth, where good food and great weather reign supreme. A place that forces you to get in your car and drive 4500 km just to see it again.

Southern California is the place to fall asleep on the beach and gain a formidable sunburn. Alex and I camped in Carlsbad and took in as much of the So-Cal life as we could. This includes fish tacos, more fish tacos and just generally being a ‘callejero’ (Mexican-Spanish slang for ‘stupid, lazy idiot’).

Northern California is where Big Sur and San Francisco are; they’re a big part of what makes this state so special. We ate in San Fran’s Chinatown because of its incredible tradition and authenticity. Mostly though, we ate in Chinatown because it’s the only place we could afford to eat.

A hostel in Berkeley named Piedmont House became our HQ for a few days. It had been there since the 1940’s and had always been a hostel. It wasn’t hard to imagine the decades of hippies and transients who had graced its halls, mainly because it still smelled like them. Not a place for the faint of heart.

Inside Scoop: ‘Cali’ isn’t a word used by people in California, it’s actually totally not cool. Again, learned the hard way

Secret Of The Pros: Las Olas, Carlsbad California, Fish Tacos and Coronas

Be Sure To: Drive the Pacific Coast Highway from San Diego to San Francisco

 

A New Rise of the Right

“We have concerns and ideas just like the left does. We want to make sure that there’s a country left for our kids. We want to make sure that we are protecting our communities from terrorism. But because mainstream media feels threatened by this, we’re the bigots.”

Brandon is part of the new ‘alt-right’ movement that has gained popularity in Canada and the US, especially among millennials. It strives to separate itself from traditional conservative ideals and the perceived conservative age demographic that typically dominates the right. He’s a young professional in his early thirties, a father of two and he was raised in one of the largest cities in Southwestern Ontario. You’d be forgiven for not expecting the nationalist point of view that seems to steer his political and social compass.

“(Laughs) No, I’m not a Nazi. I’m tired of this PC (politically correct) culture we’ve created where we’re too scared to speak up out of fear that it’s perceived as racist or whatever.”

He represents a new breed of white-nationalist that is well spoken, well dressed and ready to assert his perspective to anyone who will listen or read a meme. If you were looking for Confederate flags or Nazi insignia, you probably missed the genesis of this movement entirely.

The latest symbol for the right isn’t even red baseball caps with Ronald Reagan’s 1980 campaign promise to ‘Make America Great Again’. Richard Spencer was explaining it right before he was famously punched in the face at Donald Trump’s inauguration in January of this year: an innocuous frog named Pepe is the face of Hip-Fascism.

To be sure, Trump’s victory was propelled by an online army of thousands just like Brandon. Sharing and in the process, validating articles from questionable sources.

But long before votes were cast and blue states turned red, there was momentum in the forums and pages of sites like Reddit and 4chan as well. Away from the glare of the mainstream media outlets, these sites became places where people could gather and insulate each other’s thoughts and ideas.

A glimpse of the movement could be seen emerging from the shitposts that dominated the feeds of such sites, a purposely politically incorrect backlash on a growing PC culture. We’ve entered a time when moderates and the level headed are labelled cucks, SJWs or shills by a group that looks to ‘emasculate’ anyone who they deem weak in comparison. It’s an era when the cover of tolerance is used to preach intolerance and white nationalist ideals on the very platforms we use to report news.

This logic isn’t without its obvious, inherent fallacies though. As the ‘alt-right’ streamlined a movement of hate and intolerance for a broader audience, by their own standards, they inadvertently ‘emasculated’ themselves in the process by integrating the pop culture ideals they rally against to gain wider traction. Where the fascists and racists of days passed may have brandished burning or iron crosses, imposing pointy white hoods or shiny, tattooed heads, the neo-Nazi of today carries a stolen, poorly illustrated frog and hipster haircut into the arena of hateful demonstration.

Though at first glance this sort of double standard may seem to pacify or delegitimize the movement, it might actually help to explain the recent resurgence of fascist ideals that helped to propel Trump to victory and seems to have fuelled the Brexit in the UK and Le Pen’s momentum in France. Where racist, nationalist groups such as the Aryan Nations in the US and various groups in Canada have failed to gain ground in any sort of relevant way for decades, this new movement of online trolls and provocateurs looks and feels much more approachable in comparison to its predecessors of militant neo-Nazis.

There are common threads that weave themselves through this younger generation across the west, common feelings of inadequacy and unfulfilled aspirations. Spurned on with almost infinite ability to organize and communicate with the prevalence of social media.

Which is why it’s more dangerous than the Neo-Nazis of the eighties.

 “I wasn’t raised with these ideals, my parents are actually pretty standard, liberal Canadians. But they don’t face the same issues I do. I don’t expect them to get it. It’s a new era.”

-Brandon R, Toronto

For the mild racist or closet white nationalist who may just want to dip his toes in, the alt-right provides an online safe space without the need to have an overt nativist presence in their day-to-day lives. With the recent erosion of trust in the mainstream media and the campaign by the movement to delegitimize it as a whole, it blurs the lines even more for prospective recruits looking for a place to put their angst. Considering the gloomy economic climate forecasted for young adults in Canada and the US, it becomes less shocking to see the number of new members in which the alt-right can pull in.

In fact, The CBC reported in January of 2017 just how accessible and present the alt-right movement is here in Canada, and more specifically on Canadian university campuses.